Thoughts on the body

There is a tingling in the back of my neck. It is numb, achy and tingly – all at once and it happened there gradually. All at once/gradually. Which is it? The messages the body sends, are they so mysterious? No, the body it will let you know, this needs to change or that needs to stop or that is great do it more and more. I believe it used to be a lot easier to ignore the feedback from the body, because youth made me defiant, strong, and amazingly fast at recuperation. Not only that, but my awareness of these sensations was a bit dim. At one time I just did not give them any attention really. Now, after living decades in this shell the messages are still (change as they may) there but they linger and they are often painful and lord help me with this monster of vanity that I own they are sometimes visible. But, the thing is they are mine and I have known what is good for me, what abuse I can put upon myself and still have the energy to laugh and work and play. Recently I went to the chiropractor after having been nudged to visit for sometime. I was reluctant and scared. I am not a fan of going to the doctor at all. I have not found much help there when I have sought it. But the chiropractor did help the pain in my neck. The numbness went away after the first visit. And the shortly before the second visit it was back. And then it was gone, but this means I have to keep going back. No thanks. The pain in my neck goes away after I exercise and stretch and then it comes back. It goes away after a walk and then at work it comes back. Some relief is free and some costs 21 dollars a pop. I think for me it is best to listen to the body and do what it asks. The visible signs (besides the obvious chub- its reasons for existence are no great secret) are beginning to show. So far I have been lucky about aging. But I notice myself furrowing or grimacing or sleeping for too long in one position and now the patterns of those habits have begun to surface upon my face. Frightening! But, for now I can still correct those habits when I am aware of them and sometimes those little lines aren’t there the next day. But they will be back wont they? The other messages? Headache = drink more water, Energy loss = drink more water and have some protein, Eating fresh ripe fruit = the feeling of internal sunshine lightness and sweet. Squats = utterly ugly modern movement but makes me feel strong and the pain is a good variety, Brisk walks and laughing until it hurts = that warming feeling of love and renewal and lines I can live with.

Best if used before the year 2008.

Hmmm. You mean this blog does not have an expiration date? It does not get revoked for non-use? It has not been reported as abandoned? Indeed I have neglected it entirely for over a year. To the point where I had not a clue as to what my login was let alone my password. But a year of not one single entry? So what, really. It has bothered me for a while and then also I could care less. But now, I feel it is time to try again. I so enjoy reading other peoples musings and creations – why should I not again try my hand? It is an odd thing, but I need to purge some thoughts and others I would like to actually share. But it is hard to begin again. I am so good at quitting. Quitting things, ideas, people. I am very good at cutting the cords – and the reason need not be profound but sometimes it is. But writing, a skill I have longed to develop – well it will not be ignored anymore. I do not want to quit this. So, in this promise to myself alone, I will write on a regular basis. Even if it is horse shit and exposes me to be an utter bore. I will make an attempt.