just a rant

The winter will soon be gone. And I know the brutal Texas summer will shortly follow the gentleness of spring. The gentleness mixed in with the cruelty. I have lately been very much aware of my potential for being cruel. Something I thought I had long abandoned from childhood. The irritations are seeming to accumulate. My patience my tolerance are no longer at the front of my demeanor. I find myself doing what I know is wrong spiritually. I do believe in a collective conscious and I feel mine is being over powered by the whole of you. Yes you humanity. I have always appreciated the dark side. Upon first site of a vampire in film, even though a child I felt the romantic longing – to understand the mysteries that are hidden from the monotony of daily life. The mysteries that are in each of us, the residuals of our ancestors who gnashed their teeth in defiance of sharing, the days when we growled at each other. I feel like growling at so many of you, wounding the stupid because I can no longer tolerate your pathetic presence. In my heart of hearts I know it is not completely your fault. Education is shit in America and generation after generation are becoming progressively worse the wear because of it. But, I just have no patience currently for people who can hardly speak or even formulate into bad english what they need to say. Ugh! I want mystery and intelligence. I want a roaring fire and dances and drums and acknowledgement of all of the life that surrounds us all while we ignore it or shit on it cover it with plastic and pavement. I want to be drunk and to smoke and to wear heavy eye makeup & spit in disgust at the assholes who are satisfied with a life of shopping and staring at the TV. Oh, where are the Sisters of Mercy and clove cigarettes when you need them. Gothic teenage pissiness I embrace thee.